How to Navigate a Tough Holiday Season

The Holidays are when people usually get to see loved ones, reconnect with family and friends, visit home, etc. It’s a beautiful time to reconnect with those we haven’t seen for a while and all the cozy warm feelings we’ve looked forward to. It’s a lovely time that’s celebrated around the world. 

There’s also the other side of this beautiful season. 

The difficult family dynamics, toxic environments, dysfunctional relationships, and the real grief of our loved ones who are no longer with us. This is also a reality for millions of people around the world. And this is who I’d like to support today. Those people who don’t know how they will get through a tough season. 

Maybe you already can’t make ends meet and now there’s the pressure of having to put on a happy face, buy toys and pretend that everything’s okay. 

OR your family dynamics are so toxic, you dread going back home every year, but you make yourself do it because it’s tradition. 

OR there’s an evident vacancy left by a loved one, and you can’t bear the thought of being without them. COVID impacted us in so many depths, especially for those among us who lost precious people. 

So how do you navigate such a challenging time? 

First, I want to honor where you find yourself today. Your strength, resilience, and courage to be here today are admirable. Even though the past two years have brought us to our knees collectively, you have put one foot in front of the other and continue to move forward. I commend you for that. 

Secondly, I’d like to share with you that it’s okay to be sad. 

It’s okay to feel completely alone

It’s okay to grieve and mourn

It’s okay to wish things were different and you didn’t have to go through what you’re going through

It’s okay to hurt, feel confused, and have deep anguish 

You are a being with a range of emotions. That’s part of who you are, so please don’t feel the need to be anything other than who you are right in this moment. Life can be incredibly hard sometimes, and you don’t have to always put on a brave face and pretend everything is okay, 

Which brings me to my third point, allowing yourself to let these emotions flow through. 

If you are used to hiding your pain, this can seem so difficult, but Loved One, let me remind you that you deserve to feel all your emotions through. You aren’t doing anyone any favors by suppressing them, not yourself and not your loved ones. 

We often hide our “hard” emotions because we don’t want to seem weak, burdensome, or like we don’t have our stuff together. But can I let you in on a little secret? Most of us are suffering in silence. But when we give ourselves permission to be vulnerable, open up and take care of our inner world, we give others permission to do so as well.

The only way we can collectively heal is by allowing ourselves to feel the rumble underneath. To cry out our pain and despair, to let ourselves feel those difficult emotions, then let them pass. 

Don’t worry, Dear One, your emotions will not consume you. You have the power to feel them and let them pass, so don’t be afraid of what comes up. 

Now to some practical things you can do:

1. Identify those places, things & people that just aren’t conducive to your well-being.  
2. If you can’t avoid them, create safety and grounded atmosphere around yourself. Ask yourself, what is one thing that needs to happen for me to feel safe and grounded around my family? 
• It could be visualizing yourself feeling those good and peaceful vibes. You can do this anywhere by taking a deep breath and bringing that wanted state into your mind.
• You could create an external boundary where you only allow a certain amount of time to people & places you’d rather avoid
• Have a trusted friend, partner, or family member check in with you, and be that safe space you need to regroup

1. Have those difficult conversations, but only if you feel like you have the capacity to handle them.
2. Write down what outcome you’d like to have for the trip and spend 5 minutes twice a day visualizing it. This gives your mind opportunities to find different outcomes.
3. Find one thing every single day that you can appreciate in your surrounding. Appreciation brings you out of tunnel vision of everything that isn’t going right and helps you see that some things in your life are going well. It raises your mood too (which is a major bonus 😉)

And the most important one: 

1. Remember that nothing is permanent. This difficult season will pass, and you will be able to get back to your place of comfort, love, and light.

Don’t ever forget that you are a Magnificent Being. You are Loved. You are Needed, and YOU matter.

Wishing you a Peaceful and Loving Holiday Season!

Your Internet BFF, 

Joy