Overcoming Negative Thought Patterns

Have you noticed that sometimes no matter how you try to "think positively," your squirrel brain always finds a way to think of the most absurd and extreme situations? It’s almost like no matter what you do, there's a skeptical part of yourself that always wants you to think that something very wrong is about to happen to you; it’s just a matter of time.

You find yourself living holding your breath, waiting and preparing for the other shoe to drop. Even when things are going great, you start questioning yourself. Thoughts like, "hmm life has been too good lately, I wonder what's about to happen.”

If you've been there or find yourself there today, I want you to know that it’s not your fault. What’s happening is that your brain is trying to keep you safe. The part of the brain that is notorious for this kind of thinking is called the reptilian or primal brain. Now you must be thinking, what the heck do reptiles have to do with my brain? LOL. Nothing honestly, that’s just the term that is used to identify your survival/self-preserving brain. This part of your brain is always looking for the worst-case scenario in case you’re in danger to protect you. It looks out for anything that could go wrong then recognizes it in time and find ways to escape said thing.

Makes sense, right? But doesn’t make it any better when you’re always anxious and worrying that things won’t go your way, you'll miss the bus, be late for work, lose your keys, get into an argument with your partner, not be able to get that promotion because you don’t think your work is good enough and so on and so forth. 

Okay, Joy, now that I know this, what do I do about it?

I'm glad you asked!

The biggest thing you can do, which has helped me countless times, is establishing a sense of safety and security in your body, also known as regulating your nervous system. The reason why your mind is going whacko is that it feels as though you might be in danger. To calm it, you must soothe it by letting your body and mind know that you aren’t in imminent danger. By creating a sense of safety and security in your body, your mind will follow suit and calm down. 

Here are some tips you can use:

Breathing technique:

Yes, I know everyone says to breathe blah blah blah but do you know that as adults, especially adults that have survived trauma, we don’t breathe deeply? Because you're primarily in a survival mode, your breathing is shallow and incomplete, hence the racing thoughts and anxiety. Breathing profoundly gives your body a chance to activate the parasympathetic system, which slows down your heart rate, brings oxygen to your brain and other parts of the body, and calms your mind. I invite you to try out the following exercise with curiosity and an open mind. Give yourself a chance to notice the effects. 

1. Sit down in a quiet spot and get ready to practice a 4-3-6-3 breathing technique. 

2. You will close your eyes or gaze softly at an object that’s not moving (if that’s more comfortable for you). 

3. Then take in a deep breath through your nose, into your chest, and down into your belly for the count of four;

4. Hold your breath for the count of four

5. Then breathe out through your mouth for the count of six. When you breathe out, you want to breathe out slowly and fully like you’re making a sighing noise through your mouth. 

6. Hold for the count of three. 

7. Then take in a deep breath through your nose, into your chest, and down into your belly for the count of four. 

    

   It will look something like this below. 

   
   BREATHE IN (count to 4)--HOLD (count to 3)--BREATHE OUT (count to 6)--HOLD (count to 3) 

    

   Now repeat this as many times as you need to. It usually in 3-5 cycles, then you’ll be able to feel the effects. 

    Secondly, this is a tip that you can use anytime and anywhere. 

When those thoughts start, keep going in a rabbit hole, and you can feel yourself sinking deeper and deeper. Do something called pattern interrupting. This is a neurolinguistic programming technique that works like magic. What you're trying to do here is throw a curveball at your thoughts so it can interrupt that thought pattern that your brain is used to following. You do this by literally thinking about anything OTHER than that negative spiral. 

Let’s say if you were so anxious that you'd mess up on a presentation at work/school. OR you started a worry train about not being able to make enough money etc... Try throwing a curveball thought such as "by the way what ever happened to the lasagna I left in the fridge last week"? Sounds silly, but I can assure you it works. Why? Because when you throw in something absurd as that thought, it interrupts the thought spiral, and now your brain is forced to think about something completely different. You will notice that after you’re done thinking about the lasagna, it will be challenging to go back and pick up the spiral from where you left off. Try it and lemme know how it goes in the comments.

Lastly, ask yourself (and you can even journal about this) what's the worse that could happen. For example, using one of the examples above, let’s say you do terribly on that presentation at work. What's the worse that could happen? Maybe people will judge you, perhaps you'll get fired, maybe you'll get a scolding from your employer. Then ask yourself what you will do if it happens. Come up with a solution you know you can take. Once you start going down the list of all possible scenarios and answers, you realize that the possibility of them happening is slim or none, and secondly, if they do happen, you will be okay. This rewires your brain to think about possible solutions and, at the same time, gives you confidence that the terrible things you think will happen are just your survival instincts trying to keep you safe.

Even though your mind might always seem like it’s thinking up negative thoughts. It's only trying to protect you from imminent danger. But you can learn different ways to bring safety and security into your mind and body, thus rewiring your negative thought patterns into more empowering ones.

Are you going to try any of the tips above? I highly recommend them, and once you do, please let me know in the comments how it went.

Would you also do me a favor by sharing this article with people you think might need it? 

In Love and Light,

Joy